Once upon a time I casually said “Yeah! Let’s blow up Vulcan!”
I actually wanted to. The problem was, we had no Vulcan. I considered Oshinurd for a while, but all of the characters we have that actually care about it are either long since retired, or severely backgrounded. To blow up Vulcan, one needs a Spock. I toyed with the idea of making a new, more relevant dimension or working out a way to make Oshinurd relevant again, but got bored before I figured anything out.
Then, when I was in constant brainstorm mode with Wolfson, I came across an old site I’d browsed before and forgotten: How To Destroy The Earth. In its opening paragraphs, it says it’s not talking about ending the world, not a mass or total extinction like normal apocalypses have.
This is a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore.
In my head, Wolfson bounced around like a thrilled puppy, and ideas cascaded.
Time travel and alternate realities and our heroes chasing Wolfson and his crimes through them. One original world. A bit of a strange one- no human population, and very distinctly not Earth. The fifth planet of their solar system.
This is where Wolfson would’ve had his fortress, and a reign of terror that would’ve gotten our heroes allies amongst the natives and help in attacking him. A great place for the kinds of epic wars we couldn’t have had in the middle of Los Angeles. Armies marching, cities laid to waste, shiny things like that.
A conveniently placed astronomy buff would’ve given hints about the true identity of the fifth planet, by remarking on the nearby gas giant with its gigantic red spot, the more distant gas giant with its rings, and the interesting properties of the third planet- water and life.
For as long as humankind has been able to observe the solar system, we’ve observed an asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.
This is where Marvin the Martian would have come in.
Not that Wolfson would’ve let Marvin destroy the fifth planet, creating the asteroid belt. Marvin would’ve just been useful in figuring out how to. Wolfson wanted that glory for himself.
I’m not sure what would’ve happened in the end. There were a handful of tempting possibilities. But, inevitably, the world where we’d had glorious victories and bitter defeats, made dear friends and bitter enemies, would be reduced to rubble to the soundtrack of Wolfson’s laughter.