How To Get A Lifemate In Three Painful Steps.

Day 02 - Your First Love

Which me? And how am I supposed to figure out which person was the first I definitely loved instead of just having a crush on?

The first time I thought I was in love, I was thirteen and fell for my best friend, Donnie Weaver. We met when I noticed he had my favorite game on his tablet, and we ended up talking about the best ways to catch leras.

It took me a while to realize that I had a crush on him, though I’ve been told it was obvious to everyone else. Once I admitted it to myself, I spent most of my time acting embarrassingly like a lovestruck teenager. I wrote bad poetry, kept a picture of him under my pillow, and rambled to Sonya for hours about how he’d touched my hand or smiled at me, or something else that was the best thing in the world because it meant he might like me.

I never told him. I worried about lying to him about my species, I worried about my family having to pass for human around him, and I worried that he was straight.

Then he broke my heart by going out with Alan Floyd.

It’s funny now, but back then I thought the world had ended.

That was the old me. The first person that this me loved was Camilla Sarden. I’d been dating her for about two years when I found out I’d lost my soul. It’s possible that we started dating when I still had a soul, it’s possible that I’d already lost it, but I know that I still loved her after it was gone.

Camilla was a healer in the demon clinic I started. I knew I loved her when we were trying to save a patient who’d been attacked with a particularly unpleasant poison. He, quite literally, exploded all over us.

You know that moment when someone should look disgusting, but they’re still beautiful? That was it.

She was confident, calm under pressure, and she had an inner strength that I always admired. There was a time when I thought that she could handle anything. She couldn’t handle her boyfriend dying and becoming someone else.

I don’t blame her for that, but it still hurt.

The first person I fell in love with after I knew my soul was gone was Isaac Sowka. We’d known each other since we were children, I even had a crush on him when I was a teenager, but he accepted that his old friend had died and that I was someone new.

He’s half were-owl. We knew that if he fell in love with me, there’d be no going back. And we fell in love, he mated to me, and it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Then my father and aunt killed him. Specifically to drive me further into despair and make me an emotional burden to Sonya, thereby weakening their two most dangerous enemies.

I know this because when he died, he held onto the world to warn me that my father was working with my aunt. And when I realized that he’d become a ghost, I held onto him. I bound his spirit to me, so he could use my body as an anchor to stay in the world.

He’s possessing me now. That can’t last forever- there are almost always consequences for both entities- so I’m working to recreate his body and, essentially, bring him back to life.